Temple Work

 On this Sabbath day, I am thinking so much of the Temple and how difficult it seems to be for me to go.  I don't know why, I love the Temple.  But I have had some real troubles just going.  As I was contemplating and praying about my thoughts, I came to realize that I am allowing Satan to influence my actions each time I plan to go to the Temple and I remembered another time that I have experienced these feelings long ago in 2011.  I am so grateful for the Temple and the joy it brings to my life to feel so connected to my family, my husband and wonderful friends who have passed from this life.

In 2011, I decided to give more time to the Lord and less to the world and I think that will do the trick.  I turned the cable TV off (at least most of the time), opened the scriptures and set a goal to attend the Temple more often. I felt better enough on Wednesday and went to the temple after work.  Then I went to work prepared to go again on Thursday.  I read scriptures and prayed before work, on my breaks and on my lunch hour.  I felt that my frame of mind was in a much better place.  I hurried to the temple to get to the 4:40 session so I could hurry and get to a work assignment then to hurry to get home so that I could hurry and read more.... I didn't make the 4:40 session and was a little bummed about that.  So I had a lot of time to set in the chapel.  I was on the front row (because I was the only one there for a few minutes) and went to open the scriptures and realized I didn't remember my glasses.  The night didn't seem to be going so well.  Then, the organ music started to play, I Know That My Redeemer Lives, I closed my eyes and listened and I could feel myself unwinding.  I could literally feel the beautiful spirit entering into my mind instead of all the hurry.  Then the next song, There is a Green Hill Far Away (one of my favorites), I Stand All Amazed (the only song I can play both hands on cause my mom worked with me so many hours), I could feel myself being humbled as I heard the beautiful songs, one favorite after another.  Then, A Mighty Fortress which suddenly brought memories of my mother to my mind.  I could hear her playing that song and the passion she would put into playing it.  I looked over and there was no organist there.  What a small miracle that the Lord gave me those beautiful songs and memories as I listened to the music of angels.  By the time we left the chapel my mind and spirit were totally and completely contrite and humbled and ready for a beautiful session. 

I have had many wonderful, testimony building, spiritual experiences in the Temple throughout the years, but I think this night at the Temple means a little more than some because I learned and felt myself become so vulnerable(for lack of a better word).  When I started out, I was all about hurrying and getting it done so that I could go home and say that I was being good on my eating because I knew the Lord wouldn't let me down....etc.  And as my experience came, I was helped to realize that the Lord has never let me down, I have let myself down.  As I entered into the Celestial room, I was hardly able to sit down before a Temple Worker came to me and asked if I had ever seen the sealing room at the top of the stairs.  I had, and I related that to her.  She said, I think you would enjoy seeing it tonight if you want to go up.  So I did.  As I entered into this most beautiful room, I felt my mother's arm embrace me.  She was with someone, a long haired young woman (perhaps the person who's work I completed that night) and with her arm around me, I felt of her love.  That is the most amazing feeling.  The Temple worker was standing behind me and she walked in and shut the door.  I sat down and looked around at the beauty of the room.  Then some others entered in.  I walked back down the stairs and I sat in a chair and prayed.  I felt so very humbled by the experience.  Gradually the room emptied out and I started to leave when I suddenly felt the strongest feeling that I shouldn't go.  So I sat back down in the chair and I bowed my head in prayer and as I did, I felt other' presence kneeling with me and I felt their strength and realized (as I really already know but take for granted), that I have the strength of many around me to help me be a stronger person in the areas of life that I fall short in, there to help me, guide me all just for my asking with the right intentions.  What a wonderful gift Heavenly Father gave to me at the Temple this night.  I am so blessed.

This is such a joyous memory for me.  Sometimes things go on and we forget about journals and experiences but then remembering can light up life in ways we may never think of.  Today remembering this small tender mercy from my father in Heaven boosted me.  I love being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  I am so grateful for the love Heavenly Father shows me each and every day and then for the special little gifts he gives me when I seem to need them the most. Gratitude brings so many good positive thoughts into life and I am so grateful for creating this journal of gratitude for 2024.