October Wrap Up

October has come and gone.  I won't say it was a fun month, but I will say it was a busy eventful month.  Ambur and I have both been sad without Gimme, who knew I loved the sweet dog so much!  I complained about her fur often but she sure brought a lot of joy into our home.  Now, since September 16th, not only do we not have all of her fun, we have her sad human, Ambur and me and Ambur is still so emotional if she is asked about it or sees things and I crumble pretty quickly when I see Ambur as sad as she is.  So that is basically the mood in our house right now.

I got a message from Blaine that he needed to come and talk to both Ambur and I.  He came over on the 1st of October and we had a pretty good visit.  He seemed like he wanted to move forward....finally!  and he gave us the sad news that he and Sara are separating.  I am not surprised by that at all, I have always felt that their marriage was mine but the roles reversed.  I have watched her belittle Blaine to the point that I couldn't be around them.  And she has spoken such ill will toward Blaine's dad and doesn't want to see him and has made no secret of it over all the years.  She has also been sure to make a point that she hates the fact that Blaine looks like me.  Such silly things.  I was shocked to find out that the kids don't go to church (Sara hasn't gone for some time) even though they have been baptized and that was much more a surprise to me than that they are separating, and the reason Sara gives is that she got married to young.  I asked about counseling and Blaine said they are counseling type of people.  I hope they will get some help and salvage their marriage for the sake of the children.  They definitely need some help but it seems that it is a done deal and that Blaine will need a place to stay.

I found out that Ashlyn is playing on her schools Soccer team (she is number 16).  I got her schedule and went to her last home game and I was so surprised to find not one member of her family there to support her.  But it was pretty warm and I guess they are avoiding me.

She is really pretty good considering that she has never played before.  She got a couple of good scrimmages and she said she plans to play again next year.  I am glad she is involved in something at school.

I turned the big 66 this month.  I had a big trip planned to Las Vegas and was so excited to see my friend.  Well before we left I took the van in for a check up and it turns out the engine is dying in my van.  cost to fix--about 8-9 thousand dollars.  I know I will never have that kind of money so my mechanic told me that the check engine light won't go off but I could drive it for short trips just no big mountain viewing trips.  So no Las Vegas for me.  I would hate to have it just stop working on me on the big freeway.  That was disappointing.  Ambur and I went out to dinner on my birthday and we had a nice time.  Ambur gave me an Advent Calendar for my birthday.  I am very excited for it.  It is the Grinch on every square and come December first I will be able to start it.  It wasn't the best birthday ever, but it was OK and Ambur and I had a happy day.  I don't know what I would do without that girl.

Blaine asked if he could spend the night at our house and said he would sleep on the floor.  I told him I had an airbed.  I got it set up for him.  It looks pretty lonely.  I don't like sleeping on those beds.  He ended up just sleeping on the floor, he didn't like it much either.

It was my favorite event once again.  The Sheep Festival.  Some people really think it is stupid, and it gets a lot of controversary but I love it.  The local sheep farmers bring the sheep right down mainstreet and it is so much fun.  The ambiance is lighthearted and positive.  I actually ended up with a horrible headache and so I didn't get to go this year--it just isn't my year.  I took these pictures from the internet and lived the activity through the internet.

Blaine asked if he could stay over more.  I told him that we do have a 3rd bedroom that I would get at least ready for the floor to have room for him.  For the next two weeks I worked my tail off getting stuff moved around.  I have been wanting to move into the other bedroom so as to block noisy neighbors so I got started first getting everything out of the room I would be moving my stuff into and then getting my current room empty for him to move into.  

My new room-so full and unorganized it feels like moving in and it is very claustrophobic.  But at least I am getting things so they are OK and the distraction has really kept my mind off of being sad, lonely or guilty feeling, it has given me some purpose and something to do.  It has also helped Ambur some to think about it instead of Gimme.  The Lord has blessed us once again in our time of need.  Not in any way we expected, but in the way he knows we need.

Blaine helped me get the bookshelves down and I found a place it would fit without having to move anything but the freezer (which is on wheels).  It was so nice to get it down and all the books too.  Saved some body aches for sure.

This is how the room for Blaine looked -- I had a small TV and a desk so I let him use that and that is all that was in his room.  When he no longer needs the room I will be all set to get my projects back into that room. and mine won't be so tight.  That will be nice.

We got our first snow storm.  It is so pretty when it snows.  Ambur really loves it and I like it OK--especially the first snow.  We didn't get much but it was fun to see.  Hopefully we will get more through the winter.

  It is safe to say the sidewalks of Cedar City are not for walking-all the time- but often when they are, vehicles park over the top of them.  This is ok when Ambur has the dog to guide her along.  It is very difficult when Ambur is using her cane.  These houses have their vehicles over the sidewalk often.  One day Ambur got scolded by the owner for tapping his truck with her cane and she said she is blind and otherwise she would walk into it because it is illegally parked.  He didn't care, he was rude.  I called code enforcement and reported them and for the next few days it was clear.  Then they would have it parked over again and I would call again.  This cycle continues  onward.  I don't really know why anyone needs to park that way, but also they could be a little more considerate of her abilities---and the law.

I have been feeling so worthless of late.  I try to change my routine, I just don't have the desire.  I am alone 95% of the time or more and I really don't have any friends.  It makes me so sad that I just have no one but myself to talk to, and Ambur works so hard and she needs to get her own friends to do things with.  I am tired of the feeling of total loneliness and decided that I am going to get all my Disney puzzles finished and that will help my Disney wall to be complete. (a project I need to finish)  So I decided to start with this carousel puzzle.  It felt so good to get started on it.  I love doing puzzles they are so healing and it has helped me tremendously.  It isn't that big of a thing but it seems to give me purpose and I know they will look great when I get them done.

I don't exactly do puzzles the way others typically do.  I like the pieces all layed out for me to choose the pieces I want rather than sorting the colors.  

This puzzle went together very quickly.  I have done it before, and I have to say some of the pieces were still together, but it turned out great and as I got the glue to apply, I realized I didn't put anything underneath it.  So I got a poster board to slide underneath.

Let's just say that didn't work out so well for me.  A very good portion went to the floor and I could only laugh.  Ambur got down on the floor and started picking the pieces up. And I will just say that we got it picked up and this is where I got to start again--this time on top of the poster board.

I did get it all done and it looked great and will soon be hanging on my wall.

Last but not least, I got my shots.  I got four all at once.  I knew I would likely get sick so I prepared meals and put them in the freezer, got the house cleaned and scrubbed, did my laundry and was ready.  I asked if I could get them all at once and the pharmacist talked to me and decided it would be OK.  I got the flue shot, the RSV shot, the Shingles shot and the tDap shot.  Getting sick is an understatement.  I had a good 5 days in bed and aching but then I was done and I will do it that way every time I need them.

 October was, I think, the busiest month I have had in some time and I am grateful for it.  Life has been better because of puzzles and projects to keep me busy and feeling of some worth.  I have been shown once again that my Heavenly Father knows and loves me and gives me just what I need.  I am very blessed.

President Russel M. Nelson and Conference

 On September 27, 2025, our beloved prophet, Russel M. Nelson Passed away.  I really loved this man and his amazing abilities. I loved hearing him speak and just watching him.  I loved his stories and how valiant a life he has lead.  I love that the world knew him, loved him, admired him and respected him.  I have always believed that he brought so much awareness of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to the world that had never really been showcased before and that was because of his life accomplishments-not just the gospel.  

Wasn't it so much fun to wait for that moment during General Conference where he would announce Temples. The sighs, laughs, happiness heard from the audience could not be denied.  He would smile and laugh himself and you could just tell how much happiness it brought to him to be able to get such responses and know that he was making so many people so happy and opening a world of Covenant keeping, so much easier.  Building the church in ways not before seen.  I will greatly miss him.

Social media has been filled with falsehoods, incorrect information and downright rudeness in regards to the next prophet, the process etc.  I really don't like that.  It is not difficult, nor secret to know and understand how the process works.  I loved President Oaks words in the beginning of conference  and he said it is the first time in about 75 years that a Church President has died a few days before a general conference.  He reassured all members of the church that the conference would go forward as President Nelson had prepared for.  I found that so comforting.  He also gave each speaker of conference the OK to give a minimal tribute to President Nelson.

One of my favorite addresses was given by Elder Rasband.  I love the Family proclamation and it was a bit of a surprise when he said it had been 30 years since its announcement.  I actually have it laminated on a small card and I carry it in my Sunday bag so I have it to read during the sacrament.  I really enjoyed his words.

Due to the circumstances, the first presidency of the church was dissolved.  The sustaining was very different and may never happen again and so I am recording a portion of it....(taken from the LDS.Org site)

"...It is proposed that we sustain Dallin Harris Oaks as President of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Those in favor, please signify. Any opposed may manifest it. It is proposed that we sustain the following as the members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: Dallin H. Oaks, Jeffrey R. Holland, Henry B. Eyring, Dieter F. Uchtdorf, David A. Bednar, Quentin L. Cook, D. Todd Christofferson, Neil L. Andersen, Ronald A. Rasband, Gary E. Stevenson, Dale G. Renlund, Gerrit W. Gong, Ulisses Soares, and Patrick Kearon. Those in favor, please manifest it. Any opposed may so indicate. It is proposed that we sustain members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles as prophets, seers, and revelators. All in favor, please manifest it. Contrary, if any, by the same sign. "

This process was so touching to me.  Knowing what the eventual outcome would be, just seeing that the correct procedure takes place.  No arguing, no battling, just moving forward.  I love that and I think Heavenly Father, Joseph Smith and so many others would be observing with great satisfaction.  

There is one other address given that I want to mention.  By Elder Kevin G. Brown, The Eternal Gift of Testimony.  I felt the entire time he was speaking right to me through the television.  I wept uncontrollably because of the amazing spirit that I felt fill my home as he was speaking.  It made me feel so good and really enforced the love of Heavenly Father to each and every person.

The entire conference was so great to me.  I loved so many of the talks and I feel that the sweet words given will be a branch of strength for me to hold on to and will boost me up for the next six months before the next conference and will keep me from drowning in my own sorrows. (Which is what I think I have been doing).

I feel truly blest after this wonderful conference.  I close this post with the inclusion of some of the words from President Nelson's last words to us.  (His address entitled Confidence In The Presence of God)  He said, "I testify that Jesus Christ, the Redeemer of Isreal, leads this, His Church.  He is preparing to come again.  May we likewise prepare to receive him."  

September 2025

 September was pretty un-interesting.  First day of September every year is another year in a house that I really don't like.  I actually found this picture on the internet and it even has my van in it.  How it got there I have no idea.

It has been two years since I left Las Vegas and moved to Cedar City, Utah.  I have to say that it is beautiful here.  I love the mountains and the trails.  I have had a miserable two years and have come to realize some (I am sure there are more) of the mistakes I made in the purchase of the house and it just makes me sadder so I need to find a way not to think of it.  When the time comes to be able to sell it, I won't make those same mistakes again.  I am grateful to be in a house, even if it is a money pit.  I continue to tell myself that I need to rely on Heavenly Father and his plan and stop being so negative about it all.  I do try--not that successful so I need to try harder.

Gimlet is my little friend at home now.  This dog was born and raised to work and pretty much she just lays on her blanket downstairs or on her bed in the bedroom.  Poor thing.  She does get excited when Ambur comes home but it is short lived.  It is difficult to just watch the energy and spirited attitude just drain right out of her.

I wanted to share the feelings that Ambur shared on Facebook here.  I think they are so genuine.

"After 6 years and 10 months the time has come for Gimmie to retire. She has been the best first guide dog I could have asked for. My constant companion, my guide, my best friend, and the one who has literally saved my life more than once.

Although I knew this time would come, this process has been a lot harder and a lot more emotional than anticipated. I’m learning how to navigate around work without her just using my cane and it’s quite the adjustment.

Thank you to everyone who has supported Gimlet and I throughout the years even during the months waiting to get Gimmie girl! We may be separating so that she’ll have space to play and enjoy retirement, the memories will last forever."

We have had some really sad days just watching how lethargic she has become. Once in a while she will get in the car for a ride, but she makes it very clear she is not going to allow the halter to be put on. Ambur probably didn't really need to be reminded how important the dog is in her life, but as she walked home from work, she got the reminder when she missed a crack in the sidewalk with the cane and she fell. This is the result. I felt so bad for her.

One of the projects I have been working on for a long time is coming to an end.  All the discs in this book are documents and pictures I have taken and scanned and I have finally finished labeling them and getting them all into one place along with any other pictures I have.  It is such a good feeling and although that is only one step, it is a big one and I finished it.  101 discs and 10,399 pictures everyone looked at.  So glad to be completed with that step.  

We saw our first Halloween decorations and this lovely witch inside a business.  I just love it.  We also saw the first outdoor decorations and this house was phenomenal.  We went driving around a little for our family dinner night, no sign that Blaine has any intention of coming back to them so I sent a notice to let them know I won't be planning them any longer.  It is sad, but our lives move on and my journey right now is to surround myself with positivity and not the negative feelings that exist and I am getting better and better at it.  When it comes to Halloween decorations,   I always think about putting it away and how I would hate it, so not much goes up at my house.  But I sure do enjoy it all.

I got new insurance on my van and I have to be monitored through my phone so I have to leave blue tooth (which I rarely use) on all the time.  I got a good score so I need to keep it at 90 or higher for three months and then I will get a discount when it comes due again.

Ashlyn had another dance with her 'boyfriend' Tegan and I got a picture from Facebook.  I love that even though they haven't gone to church to learn much, she makes the good choice of dressing modestly and no make up.  She is true to herself and doesn't have to try to look different or act different that is who she is.  I love her so much and I am glad she had a good time. 

In cleaning out some boxes, I found this book that was given by Intermountain Healthcare a long time ago and I am going to save it now to use for 2026 and have a 'weekly Lift'  I have used it before and been very successful.  I need all the positive reinforcement I can get so I don't feel so down myself.

You have to know there is some strong boredom going on when you roast a marshmallow on a fork over your stove.  But I will tell you it surely did taste very good! 

I also read more conference talks and the Come Follow me manual I just can't seem to get back to the scriptures but I pray continually that I will, I feel Heavenly Father's love and I am grateful for the ability to have that feeling and I know he knows me and will continue to help me be strong.  I am blessed and a very grateful person.

August Wrap Up

 Well, not much else happened in August.  Overall it was a decent month and I continue to try to live a good and kind life and serve.  I was able to read some great conference talks and I did keep up with the Sunday School lessons but I have to confess that I didn't attend much of the SS classes.  Sometimes it is just too painful on my tailbone to set through both hours of church.  

I did get to go help clean the church and I haven't done that before so it was really nice to participate in that.

Ambur continues to work so hard and she fills in any extra expenditures that arise.  I have said it so many times and will continue to say many many more times, she is truly a blessing from Heaven for me.  She is giving and kind and even when she is tired and sore from her own work, she comes home and helps me because I may have had a bad day or she can tell I am particularly emotional and she just listens.  I am so grateful for her.

No speaking at all to Blaine this month.  It is very difficult to know what the right course of action is.  I don't even feel like there is any problem to move forward from but I know that the longer he allows it to go on, the worse it will get.  I put his name on the prayer roll as well as mine and Ambur's so that somehow we can start new.

I am blessed and love the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and love the knowledge the gospel brings to my life.  When I rely on my Heavenly Father for decisions, I am much happier.

Glowing in the Dark

 Last year Ambur asked me to do a race that was at night and I told her no way because I would fall.  Then one night a month or so later, I was looking out my bedroom window and saw all these neon things bouncing up and down the trail.  I told Ambur to come and see it and she told me that was the race she had wanted to do.  I didn't know it was on the trail---so I told her we would do it this year.  We got our packets a couple of days ago.

There was a party that started two full hours before and we got there about 8:30.  It actually started at our church building and the pre-party was in our church parking lot and pavilion.  They gave us some glow in the dark bling for the race and we also had some that we had planned to use at a family dinner that never happened so we used both and handed some out to people who looked like they might enjoy them.

The Butterfly is what we got from the race and this is an upside down picture of what it looks like.

It was really getting pretty while we readied ourselves and then it got dark.  It is always fun, and one of my favorite parts of any race is the before and after.  It is so much fun to just relax and enjoy all the laughter in the air.  The race was to start at 9:30.

Gimme got to use her official glow in the dark collar she got for Christmas.  I am pretty sure it was the highlight of her day!

This is not the greatest of pictures, and I might be in a little trouble, but look how skinny Ambur is getting.  She doesn't know just how good she looks and I am so proud of her.  (OK, I got a little distracted when I saw that).

The night was full of fun.  Then the race started.  I am enjoying the 5k's and they are a way for me to work at getting a little healthier and faster so maybe next year I can do some 1/2 marathons again.  so I set a goal to finish at 50 minutes tonight.

The night went pretty smoothly.  I tried to find some photos of the race but I couldn't find any that would work.  There were bands along the way and that was pretty fun and there is one place right about in the middle where the hill is steep -- I think it is a 15% incline.  I have walked it many times but it kicked me in the tail tonight.  I had to stop three times along that part of the race.  Ambur passed me by but then, came the downhill--the rest of the race and it was lovely.  I picked up speed and finished with a time of 57.02 so not quite what I wanted but still under an hour.  The end of the race was fun with foam to run through.  I ran right through it and was looking for Ambur so we could get something to eat there were so many treat tables and I didn't think she would be far off.

It got to 1:08 and I thought I saw Gimme's collar near the ground and it was moving and then it wasn't.  I was going to call Ambur to see if all was OK and then my phone rang.  Gimlet just laid down and wouldn't move.  I went to meet them and they weren't to far off.  Gimme was down and out.  OK, in fairness it was so hot.  I gave her my water (I am not sure why Ambur didn't have water) and she barely moved to the finish line.  I walked ahead to find out where the shuttles were and went back and Gimlet had stopped again.  She had to be coaxed every INCH to the shuttle. Don't get me wrong, I felt for her, but I ended up with no treats, no water for myself and a seeing guide dog that had to literally be lifted onto the shuttle back to home.  (people were very understanding and kind).  So Ambur finished the race at about 10:40 and we boarded the shuttle after many long waiting periods at 11:25...almost longer than the race.  We got to the church and I picked up Ambur and Gimme in the van and we went on home.

There is always some kind of great special adventure at the races.  I didn't get any finish line pictures and I know Ambur felt bad--she apologized a million times--but ultimately I am just glad that we all made it safely.  It was fun in spite of it and next year we will do something to be a little more prepared.

I am so grateful for the fun times Ambur and I are able to have with one another.  I think being close is how our father in heaven would want us to be and that we are.  She is a blessing that I am grateful for every single day of my life.  I truly am blessed (and a little sore)