March Update

 I just wanted to update with some job information and how we are doing in Cedar City.  I didn't return to my job and decided that I would collect my Social Security.  I have been very busy trying to get that all straightened out, but mostly I have been so sick with the cough and elements of the flu.  I can hardly stay awake and when I do the slightest activity, I cough and cough and cough some more.  Ambur has been such a great kind person in helping me out and understanding, she still hurts some herself but she is doing what she can to help out.  

We don't have Ministering sisters and the Relief society has not contacted us at all, but our ministering elders have called a couple of times to see how we are.  Ambur is working and carrying the load for getting our groceries.  She never makes me feel low because of leaving my job, she is just very understanding and I think Heavenly Father is working and guiding both of us during this somewhat difficult time.  Fortunately I was able to get my 401K, small as it was, and that has helped.  I had my final check and was paid for PTO that I had and so we are doing OK financially.  I should be getting my first SS check soon and will see if I am able to get a part time job to supplement.

Life is good and I know I am so blessed.  I am so grateful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and to have a strong faith in Heavenly Father's plan.  I know that he loves me, individually and that he knows my challenges and as I continue to listen and act from that faith, things will be working out for us here.

Birthday Time for my Mom

March is a difficult time for me for many reasons.  It is also a very happy time because it is my mom's birthday.  Since she passed away, I actually don't remember when it started, my sisters have gathered together for the the 'sister luncheon'.  To remember my mom and to catch up on each other's life.  I have so many great memories from the luncheon and seeing my sisters and before mom died we would go to lunch and have a little shopping.  I loved shopping with my mom.  She was genuinely interested in seeing what we purchased and what we liked and she always gave her input as to if she liked the choices made or not.

I hope she has a very Happy Heavenly Birthday.  This family picture is one of my favorites because I am in her tummy.  My mom was an amazing woman.  I love her so much.  In my adult years and especially when I was first married and would call her for advice, she would have the best advice to give.  One particular occasion I was speaking to her about some problems I was having with my children and she said,  "don't worry about how they are feeling about your parenting choices, everyone who gets mad will eventually get glad:.  I love that and have thought of it many times since.  

I quit going to the sister's lunch a few years ago because it is a bittersweet day for me since the death of my husband and I just can't make it emotionally through the day.  I miss seeing my sisters, but since I made that choice the level of stress for me meeting expectations that I put upon myself have pretty much completely gone away.  With the help of a counselor, I have worked through the choice I have made and have come to realize that for me, not going is so much better than feeling like I ruin the day for anyone attending.  I love to hear about the fun that they have together, but I don't believe I will ever be there again.

I am so blessed to have been raised in such a good family.  There seems to always be some type of drama going on, but I love each of my siblings and I am grateful for them.  I wish I had closer relationships with some of my siblings despite differences in politics/religion/ and ideas, but it might be a little late for that.  I am just grateful for them all.  I am blessed and I love them all.

Rough times

The past week has been really rough.  Poor Ambur can barely move and is in so much pain.  She doesn't ever take the pain pills that the Dr. is willing to give the prescription for, so she manages her pain with Tylenol and Ibuprofen.  It works, but it is a little more difficult.  She is also worried about Gimlet who is worried about her.  But I think I am doing OK taking care of the dog.  I have to say that it is a large commitment to have a dog.  Gimlet is well trained.  Very specific times on when to go do her business and when to eat.  Trying to do that and cook and clean has made me so very appreciative of Ambur and all that she has done and does for me, us and she is just kind.  Along with the stress that my work is bringing into my life, I am just exhausted.  I have been coughing a lot and the girls at work make fun of it.  They are so juvenile!  

On the 7th of March we had a meeting with the Human Resources department.  It was pretty good conversation and gave me some hope that things would get better because both of my team mates were asked to do one simple thing.  That is to work with the lights in the office on until they could figure out some better lighting for my area (the girls like the office to be totally dark and my eye Dr. told me not to work under those conditions) both of them agreed that they would do it.  We went back to the office and one of the girls had her light on as promised but the other girl (the real bully, DesMarie) refused to turn hers on and went over and turned off the extra office light and then the other girl followed suit and turned hers off.  They made it very clear they are the big bully's and they have no intention of changing anything.  I just decided I couldn't really deal with it right then, I was so tired that I could hardly keep my eyes open.

 On Saturday when I woke up, I didn't feel well at all, I had a high fever, body aches and a cough that wouldn't stop.  Off to the Urgent Care I went.  I tested negative for Covid and positive for Influenza B.  I couldn't believe it.  Poor Ambur had just been a week since her surgery, she said she would help out, but I didn't want her to hurt her own healing.  On top of that we had already missed a family dinner because of Ashlyn's date last month and this was the weekend for it so I had to cancel that.  It hurt my heart to have to do that.  But I did.  I let Blaine know that I was sick and Ambur wasn't feeling up to dinner so we canceled again.    I became thankful very quickly that Ambur and I had food in the freezer that just had to be heated up.  I let our ministering Elders know that I was sick and let them know not to come because I was contagious.  They were so kind to call regularly.  Little did I know that this Influenza was one of many tender mercies to come my way.

On Monday the 10th, I called my supervisor and let her know that I was out with Influenza and sent her the Doctor note.  This actually made it so I didn't have to go to that stressful environment for the week and I was so sick I wouldn't have been able to go.

Ambur and I managed to take care of each other.  She had to go back to work on the 11th and they were so kind to her.  She still couldn't lift anything more than 10 lbs and they made sure she didn't.  I wasn't able to drive so she had to walk back and forth.  She NEVER complains.  We managed to get through and thank heavens we had meals frozen which lasted us plenty of time.  I got worse and called the Dr. and they told me sometimes it can actually take 6 months to feel better.  The cough was so bad, I think the worst I remember ever having and it wasn't slowing down any time soon.

As the 18th of March was coming around soon, that would be one year of my working at Fourpoints Health.  When I got the job there, I was so grateful and felt that I would be able to work there until I no longer wanted to work.  They are a great company with amazing benefits and great leaders.  I started there on March 18, 2024 and my one year anniversary was coming up.  I have to say I wasn't quite as happy with my position all due to the bullying that was going on.  It seemed unavoidable. I noticed that my one Year Anniversary Celebration was posted on Facebook.  I am not the greatest at doing screen shots but here is what was posted.

On the morning of the 17th when I was to report back to work, I still felt really poorly and would not be able to answer the phones all day, but I was preparing to go and the anxiety of returning was taking me over.  I knelt and had a prayer and did not feel that I should go back.  I was breaking out in hives just from thinking about going back.  So, I followed my instinct and submitted my resignation.  Basically the minute I did that, the facebook post was removed.    I didn't quite make it one year--I was a day short.  They totally understood and were very kind about my leaving.  

I was so grateful for the promptings and had no idea what would come in my life, but I knew I couldn't, and shouldn't return to that particular job.  I am so blessed to have a good foundation and trust in Heavenly Father's plan for me--which is often very different than my own plan and I am grateful.




 

Ambur's Surgery

Today Ambur will be having her surgery.  Gall Bladder removal.  We were also told that her X-Rays showed that she has two massive growths on her ovaries the size of baseballs and bigger so the surgeon is also going to look at those and see if they need to be removed.  I got to the hospital in time to visit a little.  Invited Blaine to come and visit but he said they were busy that day.  The missionaries stopped by as did our Ministering Elders.  Ambur was asleep through most of it and when she awoke she was about to head off to surgery.  We put her cute blue hat on they came and did some testing, had her sign final paperwork and the anesthesiologist came in to explain what he would be doing.  I was able to wait in the room.  Off she went.  I was thinking after she left how lucky I am to be her mother.  She is such a special individual.  She has had to work through some really tough medical and personal issues and she has does it with confidence and always includes the Lord in her struggles and overcoming them.  I am so proud of her.

I left for a bit and went home to let the dog out and get her a drink.  Then I headed back to the hospital and Ambur was already in the room.  Soon after, the Dr. came in and  informed of what he found.  He said the Gall Bladder definitely needed to come out and that it was in much worse shape than the testing showed.  He also told us that the masses that were on the ovaries are fibrous and not cancerous.  That was surely a relief.  He said there was really no reason to remove them.  

Ambur rested and had to eat a bit before she would be discharged.  She was told that she should not lift anything more than 10 lbs. for the next 2 weeks and really for 4 weeks then she would have a follow up appointment to get the ok to go back to work and to see what she would be able to do.  He also told her not to do stairs for a couple of weeks, but that isn't really possible.  So we decided she would stay downstairs today and when she was ready to go to her bed, she would go upstairs and then stay there and I would take care of feeding and caring for Gimlet.  

We got her home with a great icepack to put over her surgical site.  She didn't feel to badly--unless she laughed.  She is a trooper and it was good to have her back home.  I took Monday off so I could stay with her a bit more.  I have to say that having her down and out showed me really quickly just how much she does around the house. She fixes dinner, she cleans the downstairs and probably so many other things I am not even aware of.

It is going to be a rough couple of weeks.  I am grateful for the opportunity to help Ambur out just a small amount as she is constantly looking out for me and helping me out.  I am thankful for those who took from their time to come to the hospital and for the Elders who administered a priesthood blessing and for the Surgeon who took good care of Ambur.  And for anyone else I may have forgotten or missed.  We are blessed here in Cedar City and I am grateful for all.