No Balance In February

Today started out with a Doctor appointment for Ambur.  For the last couple of weeks she has been experiencing some pain in her abdomen.  She has had her appendix out so we know it isn't that.  The pain has gotten progressively worse so we got an appointment on my lunch hour so I could go with her.

We were sent to the Emergency Room with the thought that it was probably her gall bladder.  I let my boss know and I can say that it made me feel good I didn't have to go back into the office. I had to pretty immediately figure out plans for Gimlet if Ambur would be staying.  We headed to the ER and I called my son, Blaine, who works at the hospital to see if he could grab someone and come and give her a blessing. He said he would be up.  In the meantime, they took her back and we met with the ER doctor.

We totally got a great Doctor in the emergency room.  She had actually been an intern at fourpoints health under Ambur's doctor.  They did Xrays and then sent us back out to the waiting room and no sign of Blaine so I called the missionaries to come and give Ambur a blessing.  They got there before Blaine and we went into a quiet room and she got a blessing.  I felt like the blessing was also for me with all the struggles I am currently experiencing and the blessing included me by saying I would have the strength to assist Ambur as needed and we would feel our Heavenly Father's love in out life.  That was a wonderful feeling.  Blaine came up and I let him know we had gotten the blessing.  He spoke with Ambur for a minute and then headed out.

Meanwhile we got the results back from the X-Rays and the Doctor said there just wasn't enough evidence that it was the gall Bladder.  This is what we had feared.  I have had those types of pains from time to time since 2017 and have been told over and over and that there just wasn't  a need to have the gall bladder taken out yet.  The doctor asked us to wait a little longer and when she came back, she had called several surgeons and found one that would take Ambur's case and do the surgery.  Hooray--I think.

We headed to our room.  I decided not to stay with her and that way I could take Gimme home and tomorrow she would be OK for a few hours alone.  Ambur got herself all settled.  Ordered some food for herself.  We said our goodbyes and off I went.  What a way to end a month.

February was really not my best month.  I was having more bully treatment at work and reported it to my supervisor because it was just ridiculous.  I was being locked out of my office almost daily but what they didn't realize is that I have a key to the door.  Every time I go out for a break they use lotions and perfumes that set me off coughing.  I got my area moved from the door because so many people come in to visit with them and it is so noisy.  One of the girls constantly makes very rude comments and continues to offend with her language.  Instead of loving to go to work, I was in near tears everyday as i would go just wondering what might happen to me.  I have never in all my career experienced  anything like it.  I have just felt sad.  They turn the heater up so high it is like an oven and then when I open the door they complain and on three of the days they did this, They talked to each other as if I wasn't in the room saying how the person they work with stinks -- no kidding it is 94 in a room with no ventilation, everyone stinks.  I find myself sleeping almost every minute I was at home.  My supervisor was sympathetic but not completely helpful.  I realized as I thought about this month today, that I have not read scriptures consistently and that really just wipes away any balance.  It is as though I shut the door on Heavenly Father and don't want to let him into my life.  I definitely have some work to do for next month.  I am thankful that there is always the chance to change, adjust, restart life every single day.  I have really felt like a failure this month and instead of fighting the negative off, I have fallen to it's horrible trap.  Probably the closest to depression I have ever been and it sure doesn't feel good .

I am grateful to know that with just a few simple changes things can be joyful and happy for me.  Amidst it all, I know I am blessed and I am grateful for the knowledge.  With Ambur's situation, March will be starting off with a bang.  What else will be coming our way for March?????  Life is full of challenges and I love the journey.  I feel so blessed to have felt the spirit in the blessing by the missionaries and I think it will be a start to me choosing to feel good instead of bad and come up with more possible ways to fight off the negative all around me.  

Advocacy and Home Owners Association

We moved into our townhouse on September 1st, 2023.  We hadn't seen the unit (a big mistake on my part) and quickly came to realize how dangerous it was for Ambur simply to enter our unit.  The steps are the tallest in the 16 units (some don't even have steps) and they are just so dangerous.  Ambur has no way of seeing where the edge is and if she has the dog with her there just isn't room.

Almost on day one we submitted a request to get a ramp from the doorway to the parking.  We had an organization that was willing to pay for the ramp.  No approval and had to contact the HOA over and over just to get answers.  So, I did some research and found that there was supposed to be a certain amount of handicapped parking spaces and there were none.  So I petitioned to get a Handicapped spot in front of our house with van accessibility and to include the ramp.  I told them I would purchase the supplies.  But they weren't really enthusiastic.  It went for months without a resolution.  Ambur fell a few times--especially when there was snow-- and it was a real thorn that something so easy was being put off  and really not resolved.  The President of the HOA (also the builder) said he wouldn't allow the parking lot space to be painted blue.   It takes up a lot of time/energy and research to prove the need and it should be so easy for them.  

Per the HOA we each have two parking places (they are supposed to be assigned) so I asked them to assign the two spots in front of our unit to us.  That would stop the cars from parking so close to the van that Ambur can't even open her door to get in.  That was another big no.

Finally got the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) involved and sent off the sections that require safety for the resident and the HOA President actually said no again because, "I don't want people thinking this is a retirement complex for the handicapped".  Unbelievable.  Ambur contacted the Vocational Rehab office and they sent an evaluator out to the house and he couldn't believe our porch.  He sent a great letter to the HOA and told them the porch was not to code and that he couldn't understand how the inspection was approved. (this explained why we couldn't get FHA financing)  He told them he was going to report the unsafety of it.  Suddenly there was parking assignments made, as requested.  There were Handicapped signs put up and no ramp because the Voc Rehab representative said it wasn't really going to help the full problem and he got permission to put up the rails on the porch.  Today I came home and saw it for the first time.  What a great surprise.  It only took 17 months to achieve what could have been taken care of in a weekend.  But thankfully it is great.

Once again Heavenly Father shows his hand at work in our lives.  So many blessings and just on a continual basis.  I am so grateful for it.  Ambur will not be falling off the porch any longer.

 

Family Dinner-Canceled

 When I sent out the reminder for our family dinner this month, I heard nothing.  Then I got a message from Sara and then Blaine saying they just had too busy of a weekend to attend the family dinner.  I am so disappointed that they do not see the family dinner as a priority.  They just don't seem to understand that the family dinner is the highlight of my month.  I start planning the day after one Family Dinner for the next and this month I had some really fun valentine activities planned.

Sara had a family outing with her family and Ashlyn had her first date which really surprised me because she is not 16 for several months.  Blaine has come with just the kids many times so I am not sure why he wouldn't just bring the rest of the kids--that would be great.  But, I do understand busy and so I will try not to let the disappointment take me over.

These are the pictures Ashlyn sent to me from her dance/date.  I didn't know that the school had dances on Sunday.  The first picture is her date, the second picture is her with her cousin that she is very close too.

I love my grandchildren so very much.  When moving to Cedar I thought it would be much more visiting with Blaine and his family but it sure hasn't worked out to be that way.  Never the less, I am happy for whatever time we are able to spend together and hopefully we will be able to get together in March.  Life can sure take us over and priorities can be hard to get right.  The disappointment of the dinner cancellation has made me think about my own priorities and I have come to realize that I have made visiting with family my largest priority and it is something I can not control.  I am going to work hard the rest of the month to find some other things that are important to me to prioritize and hopefully it will help me to be able to fill my own sad feelings with joy and happiness.  I know that with Heavenly Father's help I will be able to do this.  I also feel that everything happens for a reason so perhaps this is what is meant to be.  I know I am a bit sad today, but also very happy to live in a beautiful place  and experience so many fun times with Ambur and others.  Indeed I am very blessed.

Teeth

For more than a decade, I have had teeth missing in my mouth.  In 2021 I finally saved enough to get a tooth fixed that needed a root canal and 1 month later, it fell out when I was eating.  So, I have not had a tooth in that spot for a while.  Let's just say my mouth is a mess. 

My dentist and I had a long conversation about what the plan would be going forward.  So, beginning in May of 2024, the dental work began.  I really HATE getting my teeth cleaned, it showed and the last time I had gotten it done was a few years back I visited my sister and her family in Washington State.  Her son in law who is a dentist and he did a great job (so I didn't feel the need to get it done again--hahaha!)  So we started with the cleaning (after the X-rays) and then there were 6 fillings, 5 teeth pulled (they all needed root canals and I said no to that) and 6 crowns and then the molding for the partial denture.  This is how the final product looked.

This is how they turned out after being properly fitted.  Overall I am so pleased.  The colors really match my own teeth well and I hope I can get used to chewing with them in.  A full upper and lower mouth of teeth.  February 6th 2025 felt great.

When I started my job at Fourpoints Health, I was very thrilled about the benefit of discounts on dental services.  The manager of the dental team was setting next to me and we talked about what my goal would be to get my mouth working and she was so excited to see my excitement and she asked me about it over the year or so it has taken to accomplish the goal.  Today after I got my final visit, She took a picture with me and I was so embarrassed because I literally got all teared up.

I am blessed.  I am so grateful for Heavenly father's plan, for his help and guidance and the way he guided me to work at such a great place.  It is fun to go to work most of the time and that is so important.