Time

Today I am very grateful for time and growth that happens in time.  When someone says, "twenty years" it seems like a long time, at least to me.  Planning the next twenty years can be such an adventure and it can include so many wonderful adventures.  If you were to look at the next twenty years of your life, what would you see?  If you were to look back at the last twenty, what would you see?  Would you change anything, everything?  Today I find myself looking back twenty years to the day I was married and sealed for all eternity to my best friend, Kelly D. Thayne, December 28, 2004.

Our wedding day was filled with fun, love, laughter and joy.  We went to a movie, got pictures taken and then headed home to change clothes and head to the Temple.

Kelly and I made many plans before that moment we were at the very sacred altar.  I don't actually think I have ever actually shared the whole story of how it is we came to be married not too long after we met.  I am going to tell that story now, in full, and it includes one of the most spiritual life changing experiences of my life.

I won't go into the full story of how we came to meet, I will start at the first meeting we had.  We actually met at a park where his sister in law, Janice, had made a wonderful dinner. We talked about things we like, things we don't like, it was really set up as a test to see if I thought I would be able to put up with his "attitude, orneriness" as a caregiver.  Well, it was supposed to be a short dinner meeting and it turned out to be nearly 5 hours setting outside in the dark and talking and continuing to talk, laughing and it was as though I had known him my whole life. 

I had a very good job in Salt Lake City, one I had waited over a year to get and one I had wanted since I was in high school, Emergency dispatch Operator.  I loved it and I really wasn't sure about giving it up.  The more I thought about it, the more I felt it was the right thing to do, for me and my situation.  The caretaking job with Kelly was Monday through Friday, taking to appointments, making appointments, taking to school and assisting as necessary.  I would have my own living quarters and it was in Virgin, Utah which is a beautiful place. It was a tough decision but I decided to go for it.  So I went back to SLC (which I really didn't like) and gave my notice, it came with some real negative feedback about leaving after all the time that had been spent in my hiring. I loaded up a small U-Haul and off I went to start a new adventure.  The further I got away from the big city the better I felt.  Then the rain started and by the time I was getting close to Hurricane, the truckers were even pulling off the road.  Couldn't see a thing.  I called Kelly and let him know I was stalled.  we just did some more talking until the rain cleared and then I went the rest of the way.  I was glad to get there.  I really don't like driving in the inclement weather.

I was too tired to unload the truck that night, so I actually did some cleaning of my room so I would be ready to set it up.  We talked about his schedule and what would be needed right away.  I made some notes and the wheels in my head started thinking about what I could do to help Kelly's life be a little smoother.  It felt good and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I had made the right decision.

As time went on, our working relationship became strong.  I took him to classes at then Dixie State where he was excelling, to Doctor appointments, paid bills, cleaned the house fixed the meals, put Kelly to bed and got him up in the mornings.  We also read our scriptures together and I quickly learned that Kelly had an amazing way of teaching the scriptures in a way that anyone could understand and with such love.  He shared his full testimony with me one day and it was touching and I admired him.  As we got closer to conference, (October 2024), Kelly spoke to me about his feelings for me personally.  I had feelings, but I fought them and told him I wasn't interested in that type of a relationship.  Then a lesson in church was about commitment to whatever righteous task we had about us and it struck me that perhaps the purpose for me to be there at just that time may have been to finally find my true eternal companion.  Just when I would least expect it.  I loved our time together, but I still pushed back when it came to getting married.  We did go and talk to the Bishop about the possibility, but there were a couple of things standing in our way.  First, I was still sealed to my former husband, Bill Stewart.  The Bishop told us, me in particular, that if it was meant to be, the path would be open for the sealing to be cancelled.    In pondering the events, one night as we were reading scriptures, we decided to read our patriarchal blessings and Kelly related to me the story of how he came to be a quadriplegic.  I won't go into those details here, but it was special, tender and spiritual.  The one thing that stood out to me was that he was promised in a blessing that if he shared his talents and served, the Lord would show him the way to his eternal companion and they would be sealed in the temple for time and all eternity.  As he shared this story with me, I knew I couldn't marry him unless my sealing was cancelled so that we could be sealed.  He had worked so hard to get to that point, I was not going to hold him back.  The very next day I received an email from my former husbands daughter, Samantha.  She said, "I don't know why I feel so strongly to write to you right now, but I feel I should let you know that I was just given power of attorney over my dad's affairs and if you ever want to cancel your sealing, you won't have any problem from from his end.  I can sign and would be thrilled to know that you had found that kind of happiness again".  I hadn't spoken to her for a few years and through tender mercies, the path I was suppose to take was being shown to me every time I turned around.  I am a strong believer that there are no consequences and that our wonderful Father in Heaven knows us better than we know ourselves.  The second problem with the possibility of us getting married, before conference there would be two new apostles needing to be called.  The Bishop told us that we wouldn't hear from the first presidency about my sealing probably until the end of the year or even later.  This gave us what I felt to be even more time to know each other more and to spend some real time preparing for the adventures ahead.  

Kelly did not feel that way, he kept saying to me, "babe, it is going to happen sooner than you are thinking, I just know it,"  and he would say it often.  But the request for the nullification of my former sealing was sent in around September if I recall correctly and we then prayed, received blessings from our Bishop and we went on with life.  Kelly was doing so well in school.  He was amazing to watch, I felt so lucky to be able to assist him as was allowed and it was great.  His professor who we called MAC was also a very special man, not a member of the church, but each and every day he would say something good is going to happen to you to, I feel it.  Then on a Saturday afternoon a couple of weeks before conference, we got a call to go to our Stake Presidents home.  I remember how my stomach felt filled with the wondering nerves of what calling one of us was about to receive.  It was exciting.  Off we went and we went into the house and for many reasons my mind flooded with memories of my grandfather, he was a patriarch and I always felt a great spirit in his home, it was that same feeling as we entered the home and were met by the president.  We went into his office and he started off with some small talk, how are things, etc, etc and then he said, "I have received a call from the brethren regarding your situation today."  I thought for sure he was going to say that they didn't feel good about ending the sealing with my former husband, but I could tell by Kelly's face that isn't what he was thinking.  He continued, "The brethren told me that you two need to get the sealing done as soon as you can make arrangements to do so.".  It took me a minute with the words swirling in my head, we are not here for a calling?  Why did they tell him this?  Is this for real?  and then I heard, "Sister, are you OK?"  I got my thoughts together and looked up to see Kelly with tears streaming down his face  and looked at the Stake President who also had tears in his eyes as he said, "this is a real miracle and you have been brought together under these wonderful circumstances at just this time for a reason that should not be questioned."  It was a miracle.  The sealing was cancelled, we made the plans and set the date of December 28th (my sister's birthday) to get married. We chose the St. George Temple of course because it was the close Temple and we had been there many times together.  

As the day arrived our plans came together and we spent time with family, including Kelly's children and my sister and her husband came to the sealing and it was special.  The blessing that was given to us, maybe blessing isn't the correct words to use, the instruction, was valuable and I loved that moment.  The best ever as he spoke to us and then turned us around to look into the mirror and it was the most wonderful feeling I have ever experienced and I think nothing could compare to that very moment as we saw each other in the mirrors over and over and over again.  It was so good.  

We went to the house and changed clothes and then went to Kelly's parents house (just down the block) and had a gathering.  My sister got the cake and it was so nice to have her there and be a part of my life for what was the most wonderful event I could ever ask for.

Due to priesthood blessings, guidance from the Holy Ghost, living a good life, I finally had a man worthy of my love.  Happiness in depth.  From that moment of the sealing on through even today, twenty years later, I have listened to my wonderful husband and friend.  Although he is gone to the other side far too soon, I hear his voice, I fill his spirit and I am grateful to know that someday I will see him again and we will be able to stand side by side and feel of the love we have between us.  So time is what I am thankful for today. Time to think, time to love, time to play, time to morn, time to grieve, time to work constantly to live worthy of his love and time to spend on this earth until my time comes to go and meet my family on the other side of the veil.  How blessed I am even through loneliness to have known and experienced such a pure love.

God be with you Kelly D. Thayne until we meet again.  My friend and companion here is to another twenty years and beyond.