2026 January Family and Puzzles

The past few months have been difficult to say the least.  I completely lost my relationship with Blaine and Sara and the kids because of something they interpreted incorrectly at our May 2025 family dinner.  As Much as I begged the adults to meet together and try to work it out, they just simply refused to do it.  Then Blaine showed up at our house to inform us that he and his wife are separating.  He was surprised that I wasn't surprised.  In my opinion, He was forced to leave his own home, not take anything with him--literally nothing.  He should have been able to take kitchen towels, bathroom towels, Blankets/sheets (I know I have made plenty of quilts for him to be able to take one to have) and it was hard to hear and then he asked if he could stay with us in our house (this was in October) so suddenly we started talking again and I was able to explain to him what I would have said way back in May if I would not have been shut down by him getting up and leaving dinner without a word.  Nothing was really settled, I don't think he sees a need so it seems we just moved forward.    We had everyone over for dinner in January and we had a bit of fun.  I hadn't seen the kids since May (except for the young boys at a store or stopping in).  It is more than obvious that our relationships are not anywhere near what they have been in the past, bur for tonight we had a good time.

I am rearranging pictures on my walls and I am going to do some more puzzles for hanging (Disney ones)  So I got one puzzle done this month.  But it really isn't done because there is 1 piece missing.  I love the puzzle so I am going to glue and hang it anyhow and hope it isn't too obvious.

I am so blessed to have the gospel in my life.  I pray for my son and his children to be able to make it through this very difficult time of their lives.  I am grateful for Ambur and the wonderful relationship we have built with one another.  She is good to me and we are good at taking care of each other.  I am thankful to know that my Heavenly father loves me.

 

September 2025

 September was pretty un-interesting.  First day of September every year is another year in a house that I really don't like.  I actually found this picture on the internet and it even has my van in it.  How it got there I have no idea.

It has been two years since I left Las Vegas and moved to Cedar City, Utah.  I have to say that it is beautiful here.  I love the mountains and the trails.  I have had a miserable two years and have come to realize some (I am sure there are more) of the mistakes I made in the purchase of the house and it just makes me sadder so I need to find a way not to think of it.  When the time comes to be able to sell it, I won't make those same mistakes again.  I am grateful to be in a house, even if it is a money pit.  I continue to tell myself that I need to rely on Heavenly Father and his plan and stop being so negative about it all.  I do try--not that successful so I need to try harder.

Gimlet is my little friend at home now.  This dog was born and raised to work and pretty much she just lays on her blanket downstairs or on her bed in the bedroom.  Poor thing.  She does get excited when Ambur comes home but it is short lived.  It is difficult to just watch the energy and spirited attitude just drain right out of her.

I wanted to share the feelings that Ambur shared on Facebook here.  I think they are so genuine.

"After 6 years and 10 months the time has come for Gimmie to retire. She has been the best first guide dog I could have asked for. My constant companion, my guide, my best friend, and the one who has literally saved my life more than once.

Although I knew this time would come, this process has been a lot harder and a lot more emotional than anticipated. I’m learning how to navigate around work without her just using my cane and it’s quite the adjustment.

Thank you to everyone who has supported Gimlet and I throughout the years even during the months waiting to get Gimmie girl! We may be separating so that she’ll have space to play and enjoy retirement, the memories will last forever."

We have had some really sad days just watching how lethargic she has become. Once in a while she will get in the car for a ride, but she makes it very clear she is not going to allow the halter to be put on. Ambur probably didn't really need to be reminded how important the dog is in her life, but as she walked home from work, she got the reminder when she missed a crack in the sidewalk with the cane and she fell. This is the result. I felt so bad for her.

One of the projects I have been working on for a long time is coming to an end.  All the discs in this book are documents and pictures I have taken and scanned and I have finally finished labeling them and getting them all into one place along with any other pictures I have.  It is such a good feeling and although that is only one step, it is a big one and I finished it.  101 discs and 10,399 pictures everyone looked at.  So glad to be completed with that step.  

We saw our first Halloween decorations and this lovely witch inside a business.  I just love it.  We also saw the first outdoor decorations and this house was phenomenal.  We went driving around a little for our family dinner night, no sign that Blaine has any intention of coming back to them so I sent a notice to let them know I won't be planning them any longer.  It is sad, but our lives move on and my journey right now is to surround myself with positivity and not the negative feelings that exist and I am getting better and better at it.  When it comes to Halloween decorations,   I always think about putting it away and how I would hate it, so not much goes up at my house.  But I sure do enjoy it all.

I got new insurance on my van and I have to be monitored through my phone so I have to leave blue tooth (which I rarely use) on all the time.  I got a good score so I need to keep it at 90 or higher for three months and then I will get a discount when it comes due again.

Ashlyn had another dance with her 'boyfriend' Tegan and I got a picture from Facebook.  I love that even though they haven't gone to church to learn much, she makes the good choice of dressing modestly and no make up.  She is true to herself and doesn't have to try to look different or act different that is who she is.  I love her so much and I am glad she had a good time. 

In cleaning out some boxes, I found this book that was given by Intermountain Healthcare a long time ago and I am going to save it now to use for 2026 and have a 'weekly Lift'  I have used it before and been very successful.  I need all the positive reinforcement I can get so I don't feel so down myself.

You have to know there is some strong boredom going on when you roast a marshmallow on a fork over your stove.  But I will tell you it surely did taste very good! 

I also read more conference talks and the Come Follow me manual I just can't seem to get back to the scriptures but I pray continually that I will, I feel Heavenly Father's love and I am grateful for the ability to have that feeling and I know he knows me and will continue to help me be strong.  I am blessed and a very grateful person.

August Wrap Up

 Well, not much else happened in August.  Overall it was a decent month and I continue to try to live a good and kind life and serve.  I was able to read some great conference talks and I did keep up with the Sunday School lessons but I have to confess that I didn't attend much of the SS classes.  Sometimes it is just too painful on my tailbone to set through both hours of church.  

I did get to go help clean the church and I haven't done that before so it was really nice to participate in that.

Ambur continues to work so hard and she fills in any extra expenditures that arise.  I have said it so many times and will continue to say many many more times, she is truly a blessing from Heaven for me.  She is giving and kind and even when she is tired and sore from her own work, she comes home and helps me because I may have had a bad day or she can tell I am particularly emotional and she just listens.  I am so grateful for her.

No speaking at all to Blaine this month.  It is very difficult to know what the right course of action is.  I don't even feel like there is any problem to move forward from but I know that the longer he allows it to go on, the worse it will get.  I put his name on the prayer roll as well as mine and Ambur's so that somehow we can start new.

I am blessed and love the gospel of Jesus Christ.  I am so thankful to be a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and love the knowledge the gospel brings to my life.  When I rely on my Heavenly Father for decisions, I am much happier.

August Family Dinner/Reunion

Tomorrow would be the date for our Family dinner for August, but I moved it to today (Saturday) because it is the Gappmayer family reunion in Payson (West Mountain) Utah and so that is where Ambur and I are headed this morning.  We won't get to enjoy the whole time but we should be there before they start eating at 10:00.

We arrived at about 9:30 but the eating had already begun and so had much game playing.  The first thing we saw was the horse and buggy.  I think this is a favorite thing for the kids.

The food was great.  Biscuits, ham and eggs, good bread, sweets, pancakes and lots of it.  We got our food and then sat at a table with Jeanette, Malissa, Chris, Sheri, Kaitlyn and we had a great time visiting.  I love to just hear what is going on with them all.

It seems like everyone got up about the same time and started cleaning up and playing games.  I went off with my camera to take some pictures.  I think my eyes are not seeing things quite the way they used to, I have a hard time getting great pictures.

This is my nephew Ben's family dog.  She kept bringing her ball over and dropping it by Gimlet.  Of course Gimlet just stared at her because she was working and because she can't play with balls (doesn't really even know what one is).  But she sure did try to get her to play.  She was sweet and just kept going after the ball that Norman just kept throwing for her.

JoDee asked us if we would like to see Mandy's "petting" zoo.  She doesn't really have a zoo, but she sure has some beautiful animals, and of course I wanted to go and see it. She was showing us her horses and I immediately loved this little one.  Just so beautiful and friendly. She has some really beautiful horses and it was such fun to see them all.  I was told all the names, but can't really remember them all.

We also got to see her cows and her two day old puppies.  This was really fun.

I love this plant.  The picture doesn't do justice for the color of the plant.  It is just beautiful.  Of course I can't remember the name now, but I will find one here and I am going to try to plant it in a pot.  Amanda told me that the hummingbirds love it.  I hope I can grow it here.

After a wonderful visit we headed for home.  We have plans for later tonight (more to come on that in another post) and we plan to go home get a nap and then go to that.  Even though we weren't real hungry we decided to stop and get something to eat on the way.  There were some beautiful sunflowers which Ambur loves so we snapped a couple of pictures.

We really had a lot of fun and it was just a great day visiting and enjoying a lovely day.  I am so blessed with a loving family.  I haven't always been appreciative of how important my siblings and their families are.  I wasn't really around them much as I was raising my children and missed out on some really valuable memories.  I am grateful for every opportunity that comes to me where I can get to know them and their children a little more.  So many tender mercies in life and I am grateful for them all. 

June 2025

 Well, much has happened since May and not all so good.  But the bigger the challenges the stronger I get.  Blaine is still upset with me, he doesn't feel that he can talk about it no matter how many times I ask him if he wants to get together so I just have to let that situation play out and let Heavenly Father's guidance by my goal.

We had a huge hail storm.  I have learned that I love it when it hails.  We get the big baboom thunder and I love that.  It was a loud storm, lots of lightning and pretty big hail.

I haven't been walking on the trail for a while so I headed out and walked it for a ways.  The rock trail (everyone paints a rock and leaves it) is so much longer than the last time I walked up.  The goal is to get it to the end of that trail and I would say it is about 1/3 of the way.  When we first moved here there were only a dozen or so rocks down.

I don't know what tree/bush this is, but I haven't ever seen it in full bloom like this before.

June got a little boring and so Ambur and I played a lot of games.  She is a sweetheart to indulge me and it helps me stay awake a little longer. Gimlet just lays around, until we become loud and she doesn't care for that loud noise too much.  

These are the games we play most of the time.

We probably play Yahtzee the most.  We roll the dice to see who is first Ambur got it on this particular night.

I got a Yahtzee with 2's.

Ambur got a Yahtzee with 5's.  Saying she was happy is an understatement.

Especially when right after that she got a second Yahtzee with 6's.

Then I got  another Yahtzee with 4's.

And I got my 3rd Yahtzee with 

Then Ambur got yet another one with 6's.  We were so loud it got Gimme up off the floor and she was not sure about what in the world was going on.

It was a record day for Yahtzee and we really had fun.  One of the other games we play a lot is called Target.  We both really like it.  It is fast and you don't really keep a running score.

We also love playing Sorry and we each take two colors.  It is a lot of fun.  June probably isn't the fullest month for activity but it sure was fun game playing and always moving forward.  I am still experiencing some real emotional challenges, but I felt like this month they have been lifted a little.  I know the things I need to do, I just don't make myself do them and I know I need to rely on Heavenly Father more for guidance in the right direction.  I am grateful for the knowledge and for my family.  I pray for Blaine and his children every day and hope they will come around to speaking to me again.  This is one of the biggest challenges I have ever had to face.  I continue to attend the temple as regularly as possible and I am so thankful for the gospel in my life.  I am blessed and I know that.  So many tender mercies shown to me each and every day.